Foolish love game - my part

Venice, february 2014

The time for us to finally meet had come. The cool breeze and the slowly floating on the water can calm down just a little my emotions that I can feel deep in my chest, like birds willing to take their flight. The dark water all around me has its own life and story . Only by touching it, for a moment,  I can distance myself from my thoughts. 
The little boat reaches the San Marco square by the time when the last rays of the sun disappear behind the old roofs.I step on the ground and take a deep breathe,as much as my tight corset allows me to do it.The lights and voices around me make me feel like walking into a shiny dream.Everywhere people hide their thoughts and laughs behind their masks and beautiful clothes...I hide myself behind the black lace mask too. Will you be able to see me?! Will I be able to find you in the crowd, recognize you behind your mask!? Was it enough the time that we shared our most intimate thoughts and dreams,the time that you brought smile and light into my life?! Will I find among all these men the one who made my heart flutter with joy and pain? 
  I don't have the certitude that you could make it today, that you kept the promise we made one to another a month ago.I just have this feeling inside telling me that you are here, waiting for me, willing to find me as much as I do.
  Can be that man standing alone next to the street light, watching the people passing by?! I can't guess anything behind the white mask covering his whole face,but he has the same hight and body size as yours. Maybe if I can hear his voice, I will know.. "mi scusi, mi puoi dire per favore che ore sono?" "certo,sono le undici signorina" Disappointment.. ,he replyed to me with such a perfect italian accent.It can't be you.
  The time passes so fast and I still haven't found you yet. Maybe you are not here or maybe you already left. And all because of these stupid rules.The moon is ironically smiling to me from above.. it's like saying to me: "it's your game,Hana" 
My hand is touching the little black mask,with an increasing desire to take it off and shout out loud your name.But I won't do it!Are we really not able to see each other behind the masks, as we really are?!
   My steps already learned all the San Marco square's corners.With a shadow of sadness in my eyes,they take me to a narrow street nearby.I have no wishes nore thoughts left..I only listen to the sound that the silk touching my skin makes, and the sound of my footsteps."It's almost midnight and no sign of you yet,...."
And suddenly I have the feeling of someone following me.I turn around and there's a man standing in the middle of the road.A shiny golden mask with no smile on his face, dark red velvet coat, white shirt with lace collar and sleeves. I could say something but my lips are frozen.He slowly approaches me. What should I do?! what if it's not you?!and there is no one around us.My feet are frozen too.I try to look into his eyes but all I can see is shadow.He is now so close to me that I can feel the perfume coming from his clothes and skin.He touches my face,my lips.. his fingers are cold but it feels like they're burning my skin.He gently whisper to my ear: " I finally found you.."
OM